how not to tie a knot

 

HOW NOT TO TIE A KNOT

Planning a wedding is a Herculean task and there is tremendous pressure associated with it. Between juggling countless vendors, appointments, and schedules — along with their everyday priorities — couples are spread paper-thin. Although you are certainly devoting the time and energy to turn your dream days into realities, occasional planning fiascos are bound to occur.

Even the most meticulously planned weddings are not immune to last-minute goof-ups. Wedding disaster stories are hilarious when narrated by celebrants lucky enough to witness such priceless goofs such as jealous exes getting into a brawl to absent officiants who went fishing instead; from missing grandmas to towering wedding cakes threatening to fall off any moment; held together with duct tape and super glue. But take my word; all this is not at all funny if it happens at your own wedding. Barring events which you could never have predicted, there are certain things which one can certainly avoid. For that, the Aarusi team has you covered. Here, we will lead you through a list of don’ts you should absolutely comply with in order to avoid collateral damage, (Trust me, you don’t want to end up in tears, or worse running around town in your wedding dress, hunting down the reverend.)

  • Wedding expenses

A new survey shows Chicago is indeed the second most expensive city to get married in, costing an average of $61,265. Yes, its cause for panic. So DO NOT be miss-I-know-what-I-am-doing. Hire a planner right from the beginning. Book a venue which does not cost you a fortune and eats up a chunk of your budget. It’s also wiser to spend more money on the dining experience which is one thing guests remember when the reception ends (other than the bride of course).If you’re planning to tie the knot in Chicago, you might want to consider heading farther south to central Illinois, which is among the least expensive places to wed, or at least the suburbs, where the cost of a wedding tends to be cheaper

 

  • It rained on your parade but I told you so!

Choose your venue wisely. Lakesides and open air weddings are great but only if you have a contingency plan. DON’T let the guests roast in the sun while they wait for your prompt (not) arrival or worse, get soaked in the rain. People get up and start dancing when it rains; but just in the movies. In reality there is just muck everywhere and…Yes, some more muck.

Also, make sure your venue is approved by the authorities and it is not illegal to host functions there. You don’t want the whole CPD listening in to your wedding vows

 

 

  • The food crises

Always be prepared for extra guests. DON’T be miserly when it comes to food and drink arrangements. Cut down on your flower and decoration expenses if you have to. Guests left standing or going back without food puts a big damper on such occasions

  • Wardrobe malfunctions

You were thin as a blade when you ordered your bridal jora. Great! Why didn’t you walk down the aisle just then and there? Because sadly, you won’t have your Victoria Beckham sized waist at your T-day. There are two things you didn’t foresee:

  1. a) The amount of stress eating you will be doing prior to your big day
  2. b) The amount of force feeding given to you by mothers or aunts or grandmas who just can’t bear the thought of parting with you; and in retaliation; decide to feed you extra

With no time for rigorous gyming in days leading up to your wedding, you are bound to put on some kilos. The result: these few extra pounds make your dress burst at the seams because it was fitted for the not-so-fat you. Therefore; don’t go for extremely fitted gowns. A nice loose cut that complements your body type is always a better option. If the dress still doesn’t fit, ask your seamstress if it’s possible to add a corset back to the dress, which might give you a little bit more room. You can also see if some of the seams can be let out a bit

 

  • Do not cross the frail line between bride and bridezilla

Yes, you are the VIP here and nobody gets to ruin the most important day of your life but hold your horses and stop shouting and ordering around. Always plan ahead of things so that there is enough time on your hands to fix mistakes. All your peers helping with the wedding arrangements are in it with their heart and soul so you don’t need to remind them every second of the day not to mess up.

Also, don’t invest so much in little things that a teeny weenie flaw sends you in a fit. Keep in mind; nobody remembers the color of the fence or the tablecloths five seconds after your reception ends. Just stop scandalizing the poor decorator who wouldn’t know why a tiny difference in color got your temper flying through the roof

 

  • DIY obsessions

Tin can lanterns and paper flowers and all other DIY wedding arrangements look terrific on Pinterest and YouTube but sorry to burst your bubble my dear, the people making them are pros and you are not. Especially if you are going to try it for the very first time, there is no assurance that you are not a terrible decorator. A bride has only so much time on her hands and spending hours constructing the arbor is nothing more than self torment; especially when there is no guarantee it won’t fall on you and your fiancé as you say your vows. Sp just hold the creative beast inside you for someone else’s wedding as you won’t be getting any bonus bridal points for saving a few cents at your own. Be practical and just hire a professional decorator/set constructor

 

  • It’s your reception, not the VMAs

Absolutely DO NOT gives your DJ a free hand. He might be a Himesh Reshammiya fan for all you know. That nasal singing will send the guests running around for cover in the quest to save their ears from eternal damage. Compile your song list wisely. Loud songs and embarrassing lyrics don’t go down well with most of the elderly guests present so keep their sentiments in consideration. Also, assign somebody responsible to do the sound check and ask them to place the speakers away from the tables. Two hours of Chikni Chameli blaring directly into one’s ears is patronizing enough for a lifetime

 

 

  • The Zalim Samaaj band wagon

DO NOT let any negativity spoil your mood on your big day. Jealous high-school classmates who come and whisper spiteful things in your ears, or distant relatives who pick on the food and wedding arrangements; both these species of mankind absolutely do not deserve your attention. Trust me; they are just doing their job. Just smile through it and focus on the good stuff, like being able to see your family, and being able to dance in your wedding dress, and of course, marrying the love of your life and spending the rest of your lives together

 

  • A cranky fiancé

DO NOT force your fiancé into doing things he is not comfortable with. You might be very passionate about replicating a romantic wedding scene right out of an 80’s movie on your own reception but he might find it too cheesy or unmanly. Let him add his bits, compromise a little.

 

  • Rekindle your sibling love

DO NOT snub your siblings and cousins at this important day even if you are more close to your entourage of friends. These are people you spent your whole childhood with. Give them their due share and say in how you plan your wedding.

 

At the end, something inevitably goes wrong at every wedding, but if you keep your focus on what’s really important­­—the bond you are about to form with your soul mate— then nothing can ruin it.

Author: Faiza Abdul Rafay

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